Fur Vest Dude (Tampa 2010)

So I wasn’t really in Tampa. I was in New Port Richey, which is about 45 minutes north of Tampa.

Here’s why this point is important.

Florida should really be two states. South Florida should be everything south and east of Orlando. The rest of Florida can either be north and west of Orlando (or, better yet, it should just sink back into the ocean and do the rest of the U.S. a favor).

Anyways, the reason why I mention this is because different types of people choose different parts of Florida to go retire and die to. Fairly reasonable east coasters retire to South Florida. And the rest of the supercrazy superconservative tight-wads migrate elsewhere in Florida (heretofore called the armpit of Florida).

Port Richey is one of these armpits.

Miles and miles of stripmalls filled with Bealls (think cheap Sears) next to cheaper Bealls outlets. Lots of dollar stores flanked by (bad) tattoo parlors chinese buffets and palm readers. Trash everywhere.

Anyways, I was here for a mini family reunion during a ceremony for my recently passed grandma. I flew in from DC. Mom and dad drove up from Palm Beach Gardens. Sis, brother in law and niece flew in from Oregon.

We decided to show my niece some aminals at one of the local zoos, and I came across this velcro shoe wearing reject. Enjoy…