Nicaragua 2010

An Open Invitation to Every One of Rob’s Friends Who Would Like to Surf, Drink Booze, Party, Go Ziplining, and Yell at Monkeys for a week or so in Nicaragua

This page is all about how you can join me at a vacation on the pacific coast in Nicaragua for damn near nothing.

However, before I get to the “meat” of this letter I need to ask you a quick favor.

Take a quick look at the handsome devil in the following picture.

Rob The Handsome Devil

Do you recognize that guy? You do? Great! Continue on reading because the rest of this letter is just for you.

If you don’t recognize him that means you’ve stumbled upon this page by accident…or…one of my friends I’ve sent this link to has forwarded it to you.

I’m sorry, but as you can see in the headline this says “An Open Letter to Every One of Rob’s friends…” And unless you can come up with some creative bribe (preferably involving multiple beautiful women, a few gallons of massage oil, multiple whips, harnesses, chains and a video camera for posterity …hint, hint) this offer is NOT FOR YOU.

(BTW, if you are considering indulging me with such a bribe I have long since shaved the moustache and my personal email is gramerrob@yahoo.com)

Onward…

Ok, now that I’ve just burned that admittedly horrible imagine into your head…

Here’s what this is all about!

Sometime in March, I’m going to escape the civilized world for the third world country of Nicaragua for some surfing, drinking and general R&R and…

I want YOU to come with me!

I’ve already got a place set up. All you have to do is park your happy little ass on an airplane for a few hours…hop in a cab (probably in a stinky and dirty 1981 toyota corolla driven by an ex Contra militant) for 2.5 hours…and then spend the next week or so in absolute paradise.

  • Strolling along the miles of pristine beaches
  • Surfing some of the best waves in central America
  • Going birdwatching or checking out the monkeys in a big ass natural reserve
  • Playing golf in the 85 degree breeze coming off the pacific ocean
  • Or just getting shitfaced with people you haven’t seen in years or people that I consider just as awesome as you

Doesn’t that sound like fun?

You could be here!

But you are probably wondering…

Just what kind of scam are you pulling Rob?

Since you all know me quite well, that is an honest question. And I have an honest answer for you.

In February of 2008 I left my soul sucking job as an engineer because it absolutely sucked balls. I went and found another job learning how to write letters like the one you are reading right now (well, without all the profanity and talk of orgies).

During that time I’ve met a lot of interesting people.

…Ex-pats that marry foreigners who bring home hookers…

…Doctors who travel the world searching out cures that don’t involve drugs…

…World champion martial artists…

…And an ex-special forces guy who got his hand blown off by a grenade (and then got three fingers shot off the other hand during a totally separate firefight!)

But one of the most interesting (and the one I admire the most) is a guy named Mark. I won’t go into detail about him here, but he is part owner in this little beachside development. And he’s been gracious enough to let me go down there and invite a few friends.

Yes, you heard that right…a few friends.

Spots are Limited

You see, a lot of people will be reading this letter. Friends I surf, race motorcycles and wrestle with. Old college buddies. Some of my writing colleagues. And other people I’ve met in my travels.

Probably a grand total of 200 people.

However, as much as I’d love the company of every single one of you…there is just no way 200 people can come hang out.

Maybe on the next trip (I’m thinking of doing Australia and Thailand this year), but not this one.

How many people can come…7.

Well, 6 including me.

You want in?

I thought so.

Here’s what you have to do now.

For now you must leave a comment below telling me you are interested in this trip. In a few days, I’ll have everything finalized and I’ll let you guys know the exact dates.

Until then, you must simply drool with the anticipation of going on such an awesome trip.

Ok, that’s about it…

Your friend,
Rob

P.S. Are you seriously thinking about not going. You’ve got to be brain-dead to not take me up on an offer like this. Actually I can think of only three reasons why you wouldn’t come.

Reason #1: Nicaragua is a dirt poor third-world country filled with violent milita gangs.

It sure as hell ain’t the safest place in the world. But if you want security, I suggest you buy a blanket.

Look, if you want adventure without the risk go buy a ticket to Disney and hop on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride.

If you want something FUN. Something AUTHENTIC. An EXPERIENCE. Something that will cause your friends to froth at the mouth with envy…then come on down to Nicaragua with me!

Besides, the flip side of dirt poor is CHEAP! That means each meal will cost you less than a gallon of gas and we can get shit-faced every night for the price of a mocha chai latte at starbucks.

Reason #2: I don’t like you Rob.

I don’t like you either Chris. But that’s besides the point. With 7 people coming, you don’t have to spend any time with me at all. You can put together a foursome and go play golf (you thought I was going to say something else, huh? Pervert.) You can grab some surfboards and go surf one of the three breaks. Or just spend some time alone in the nature preserve wondering what the fuck is wrong with your life back home.

Reason #3: It’s too expensive

Seriously? Ugh…it’s gonna be cheap. Just $25 bucks a day to stay (and that includes a maid who makes lunch) and you’re bitching about the few hundred bucks to fly down there, the cab ride and paying for food?

L.A.M.E.

Listen, you can do this whole trip for less than $600 bucks. And that’s all I’m going to say. If you’re not willing to shell that out for an entire week on a tropical beach – to come hang out with a group of rad people in a totally stress-free environment –  I’m not even going to waste time trying to convince you.

P.P.S. Here’s the link to the place we’ll be staying…

http://www.ranchosantana.com/

***January 14 Update***

Quick update on the Nicaragua trip. The dates have been confirmed.

March 6 – 13, 2010.